By Esther Sangodele
Parents and educators have been urged to teach children about bodily autonomy, personal boundaries and sexual abuse prevention from an early age to help them recognise inappropriate behaviour and seek assistance when necessary.
The call was made during last Sunday’s edition of the Toyin Falola Interviews, streamed across various social media platforms, where experts examined the roles of families and schools in preventing child sexual abuse and creating safe environments for children to report concerns without fear.
The participants warned that silence, discomfort and delayed conversations about sexual matters could leave children less equipped to recognise abuse, particularly when the perpetrator is someone they know and trust.
Mrs Ibiba Odili, founder and Chief Executive Officer of Phenomena Strides Foundation and a parenting advocate, said sex education should begin before puberty rather than being postponed until parents consider their children old enough to understand it.
She urged parents to teach children the correct names for their body parts instead of relying on nicknames, arguing that clear communication would help them understand their bodies and express concerns about inappropriate touching.
“Training is telling us best practice, don’t use nicknames. Tell them the names that it is. A vagina is a vagina, a penis is a penis,” she said.
Odili explained that children should understand bodily autonomy and learn that they have the right to establish boundaries over their bodies.
She stressed that children must be taught to recognise inappropriate touching and understand that even family members and other trusted adults must respect their personal boundaries.
“There are some parts of your body that you have authority over. That is when we talk of bodily autonomy,” she said.
Odili also urged parents to pay attention to adults’ behaviour towards children, including patterns of excessive special attention or familiarity that could, in some circumstances, form part of grooming.
She cited instances in which adults refer to young girls as “my wife”, cautioning parents against automatically dismissing such behaviour without considering its context.
The parenting advocate said families should create an environment in which children could discuss uncomfortable experiences openly rather than relying solely on religious admonitions or assuming that abuse could never occur within their homes.
Dr Adetolu Isaac Olatunde, a retired school principal and former president of the All Nigeria Conference of Principals of Secondary Schools, said children depended on adults for protection and could be particularly vulnerable when that trust was exploited.
“I want to let everybody know today that a child cannot consent to sexual activity,” he said.
Olatunde highlighted the dangers of grooming, explaining that an abuser might use gifts, secrecy, special attention or other means of building trust before attempting to exploit a child.
He called on schools to strengthen supervision, assess their physical environments and develop institutional cultures that prioritise children’s safety.
According to him, child sexual abuse should not be viewed solely as a danger posed by strangers, as perpetrators could include acquaintances, trusted adults and, in some circumstances, other children.
He also stressed that schools should take complaints seriously rather than conceal allegations to protect their reputations.
Dr Ayodeji Ajayi, an Assistant Director of Clinical Psychology at the Federal Neuropsychiatric Hospital, Yaba, Lagos, also called for improved education on personal boundaries and respect for others’ personal space.
